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[Oct. 10th, 2020|09:44 pm] |
i  It. Is. 100%. Locked. (: |
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| I hate this distance between us, I don’t think it’s fair. |
[Aug. 29th, 2010|01:20 am] |
Instead of adding to the drama like everyone else, I decided to be different and not burden the rest of the population with my problems. I know that in this world, I am going to have to save myself. Which explains for all the locked posts. So humanz don't ask me why am I not blogging anymore. I just locked it. ^^ Love love. (:
Isn’t it amazing how you can keep so much bottled up inside, and you can walk around and nobody has any idea.
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 18th, 2010|04:28 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  cold | ] |
I dislike feeling vulnerable. Major dislike. I was afraid of you and the way you made me feel. I want to learn to trust, again. But then again, trust is a fragile thing. Once trust is lost, it can be impossible to recover. Of course the truth is, we never know who we can trust. Those we’re closest to betray us, and people whom we don't even know can just come to our rescue. In the end, people would trust only themselves. It really is the simplest way to prevent ourselves from getting hurt.
You say I’m the one who shut everyone out. Maybe you just didn’t try hard enough to stay in.
It’s so frustrating because I broke up with him cause I was sick of crying everyday and fighting, like I didn’t wanna cry anymore. But now I’m still crying because he’s not here to make me stop. |
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| In all honesty. |
[Jul. 17th, 2010|11:58 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  blah | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | Tik Tok- Kesha. | ] |
After a break-up, certain street, locations, even times of day are off-limits. Some places becomes a deserted battlefield, loaded with emotional landmines. You have to be very careful where you step or you could be blown to pieces.
You can erase someone out of your mind, but getting them out of your heart is another story.
When I saw you, I just lose it. The composure and the cool I've been trying to build up ever since that day.
I should be stronger than this, you know, I should and I don’t want to be a person that needs help, but I, feel all alone.
Words don't always mean what they say. I'm finding that nothing is meant to be perfect.
There is a reason when I'm afraid of being happy. Really happy I mean. This kind of happiness is frightening.
They only let you be this happy only when they are going to take something away from you.
I'm not the easiest person to love, if you fall for me, I'm not easy to please.
Some things are not explainable, and I wont even try. You just have to wait for the right one to come along and he would be able to understand just in the instance.
P.S (I'm no angel, but I hope I can make you smile. (: ) |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 14th, 2010|11:56 pm] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  sad | ] |
For once, I want to be alone and be away from this world, doing everything for myself, and just listening to myself.
Living up to people's expectation is hard, really hard.
You want to be able to satisfy other people, and yet you begin to forget what you yourself need. Because of the reason that I'm always looking into other people's need other than me, so I'm always at the losing end. Along the way, I find myself pushing people away because I’m afraid they’d walk away first, and so I want to leave them before they leave me.
All I want is someone who not only understands what I’m going through, but who can also go through it with me, and be there for me.
When we were young, life worked out perfectly, but what about now?
Trust, is a big word that I'm still trying to comprehend. This is because I've had it broken so many times. By not saying, I'm not vulnerable, its just an instinct to protect myself. I don't like the idea of letting people know anything, because its as if you're leaving an open wound to all the germs and bacteria.
When I find myself beginning to trust, stuffs just happen to bring it all back to zero. Negative even.
Maybe I don't trust people, and people don't trust me as well.
I'm always listening to other people, other than my own. So you would always see me doing something that would make people happy. At least that's what I'm good at.
But if you really understand me, have many negative feelings that you couldn't imagine how much it would sum up to be.
I could go on and on, but I guess its enough for now.
Tata.
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| I still want to believe that is some magic left in this world. |
[Jul. 14th, 2010|01:26 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  thoughtful | ] |
I was so angry that I just snapped, yes snapped.
Remorseful yeah, but still....
It at that moment, I've come to realised that nobody would understand how I've always felt.
Its just like you can fall down and get abrasion, and everyone would be going like 'are you okay? ' but nobody actually knows the pain, unless they have experienced it themself.
Even if I were to pen everything down, nobody would understand still.
I want someone who would care and ask me what's wrong, who would be able to comprehend what I say without even me elaborating it.
I want to trust, to believe and to stay happy genuinely with people around me, but is that even possible? No, I doubt so.
Why is that when I'm so happy, some things just have to happen to pull it all down.
The world's an ugly place, everyone is screwed up.
Time to cry myself to sleep, goodnights.
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 12th, 2010|02:41 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  annoyed | ] |
( Never ever doubt it. )
I’ve never understood the reasoning for someone to “move on” from a relationship.
It’s not like you are really going to “move on”.
You are just trying to tell your heart to stop thinking about that person all the time,
until it finally becomes a routine and you don’t notice it anymore.
That is, until you see that person again, with someone who isn’t you,
and then you have to remind yourself again.
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 12th, 2010|02:06 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| |  full | ] |
| [ | Current Music |
| | True - Ryan Canberra. | ] |
Love is patient, Love is kind.
It does not envy, it does not boast.
It is not rude, it is not self-seeking.
It is not easily- angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.
(:
Finding someone you love & who loves you back is a wonderful, wonderful feeling. But finding a true soul mate is an even better feeling. A soul mate is one who understands you like no other, loves you like no other, will be there for you forever, no matter what. Also, a soulmate is like a best friend, but more. It’s the one person in the world that knows you better than anyone else. It’s someone who makes you a better person. Well, actually they don’t make you a better person. You do that yourself because of the reason that they inspire you. They are also someone whom you’ll keep in your heart forever. It’s the one person who knew you, and accepted you, and believed in you before anyone else did or when no one else would. And no matter what happens, they will always be there for you, and love you for everything that you are. I want someone like that too. :(
Here’s a piece of advice: don’t ever let anyone promise you that they won’t ever hurt you because at one time or another, it will happen. |
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| I'm not that strong without you. |
[Jul. 11th, 2010|01:28 am] |
| [ | Current Mood |
| | indifferent | ] |
Nobody’s life is filled with perfect little moments. And if it were, they wouldn’t be perfect little moments.
They would just be normal because how would you ever know happiness if you never experienced downs?
Sometimes when our friends ask us if we’re okay, we tend to lie.
Because we know that telling them the whole story is just going to break our heart once more.
So we might as well just lie and say we’re fine.
I hate that time before you go to sleep at night,
cause that’s when all the thoughts you’ve been trying to avoid start to linger in your mind.
I know I’m full of insecurities and disappointments, but I promise you there’s a part of me worth keeping. |
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mightymiao's journal
